tarikh ni bersejarah bagi aku...sbb pada tarikh ini, insan yg aku cari-cari or teringat sepanjang 15 thn lepas, have found me...
RELAX!! CHILL!!
NOT an old lover or whatsoever...just, my dearest pet brother (adik angkat)....sebab apa kitorang "terpisah"? sbb dulu masa di emaresem pt hanya ada form 1~3...masa tu aku form 3, dia form 1. first 5 months was smooth sailing bg aku dan adik aku ni...until aku rasa, hasad dengki, rumours spreading, and gossips that technically separate us...
i guess back then it was hard for people to digest a genuine sister-brother relationship kot...tapi kalau KAPEL hahhh overdigested! pffttt...there were a lot of fake & plastic girls back then...almost everyone is genuinely hypocrite...pffftt...so when you're on the 'other' side of the island...you don't fit in...and when you don't fit in, you'll experiencing peer pressure...i believe that what happened to me...not just from the peers, teachers...etc...it's SUCKED to be in dat position.
so, aku pon tktau apa BAD influence yg aku bawak kepada adik aku ni, aku diarahkan oleh HEP utk stay away...or i'll get suspended...again *pffftttttt*...NEWSFLASH!! this is my side of story probably i'm the only one know of! ok...so i keep the distance...my adik kena brainwash...he looks disoriented, confused,lost...his study dramatically up & down ~i guess, and so am i. my emotion, mental state at stake.
i have to face pressure from BIAS teachers, frens with the looks "taknak la aku kawan dg dia ni", the back -talking, the backstabbing, the pressure of PMR, being forced to keep my distance from the person that i believe happens to be the one who straighten up my life...i was drifted...i made stupid mistakes...stupid stupid mistakes...stupid choices as and escape to all the things that messing up with my mind...young,lost and stupid...
dan disebabkan that stupid mistakes, i thought i had lost my brother...i thought he hate me. embarrassed of knowing me...on my graduation, he didn't even come to see me for the very last time. seriously, it was HEARTBREAKING and back then, NO ONE cares. i just have to cope with it on my freaking own. if someone says they tried, i can tell you this - THEY LIED.
so, i'm moving on to form 4 in new school...i BURN every single memory i have on emaresem pt with a hope that everything will stay BEHIND....but something STAY...INSIDE me...i realized about it when i see this article in the NST paper...i kept the article, with a hope that someday....we'll found each other...if Allah's will....
so we did a lot of catch up recently and have ended me up crying about it...suddenly the memory feels terribly PAINFUL...but look on the other side, we both finally iron out the TRUTH...and i'm happy knowing that all these years, he didn't hate me...or embarrassed of me...becoz he knows me...he knows me too well...
and for whatever reason, he'll remain as my baby brother...maybe back then, some will say...diri sendiri pun tak terjaga, nak jaga orang lain...well this is what i learnt...sometimes, to learnt on how to take care of yourself, is by taking care others...each person is UNIQUE...you can't expect someone to be averagely like everyone....
semoga ukhwah ini di jalan yg baik selalu! InsyaAllah...dan bagi yg masih BELOM dapat digest, i sincerely can't help you with that...what i can say is, he's my baby brother that i never have. and that's it...if your brain interprets the other way around, I CAN'T HELP YOU with that....and i'm damn certainly sure, it's not my problem.
RELAX!! CHILL!!
NOT an old lover or whatsoever...just, my dearest pet brother (adik angkat)....sebab apa kitorang "terpisah"? sbb dulu masa di emaresem pt hanya ada form 1~3...masa tu aku form 3, dia form 1. first 5 months was smooth sailing bg aku dan adik aku ni...until aku rasa, hasad dengki, rumours spreading, and gossips that technically separate us...
i guess back then it was hard for people to digest a genuine sister-brother relationship kot...tapi kalau KAPEL hahhh overdigested! pffttt...there were a lot of fake & plastic girls back then...almost everyone is genuinely hypocrite...pffftt...so when you're on the 'other' side of the island...you don't fit in...and when you don't fit in, you'll experiencing peer pressure...i believe that what happened to me...not just from the peers, teachers...etc...it's SUCKED to be in dat position.
so, aku pon tktau apa BAD influence yg aku bawak kepada adik aku ni, aku diarahkan oleh HEP utk stay away...or i'll get suspended...again *pffftttttt*...NEWSFLASH!! this is my side of story probably i'm the only one know of! ok...so i keep the distance...my adik kena brainwash...he looks disoriented, confused,lost...his study dramatically up & down ~i guess, and so am i. my emotion, mental state at stake.
i have to face pressure from BIAS teachers, frens with the looks "taknak la aku kawan dg dia ni", the back -talking, the backstabbing, the pressure of PMR, being forced to keep my distance from the person that i believe happens to be the one who straighten up my life...i was drifted...i made stupid mistakes...stupid stupid mistakes...stupid choices as and escape to all the things that messing up with my mind...young,lost and stupid...
dan disebabkan that stupid mistakes, i thought i had lost my brother...i thought he hate me. embarrassed of knowing me...on my graduation, he didn't even come to see me for the very last time. seriously, it was HEARTBREAKING and back then, NO ONE cares. i just have to cope with it on my freaking own. if someone says they tried, i can tell you this - THEY LIED.
so, i'm moving on to form 4 in new school...i BURN every single memory i have on emaresem pt with a hope that everything will stay BEHIND....but something STAY...INSIDE me...i realized about it when i see this article in the NST paper...i kept the article, with a hope that someday....we'll found each other...if Allah's will....
so we did a lot of catch up recently and have ended me up crying about it...suddenly the memory feels terribly PAINFUL...but look on the other side, we both finally iron out the TRUTH...and i'm happy knowing that all these years, he didn't hate me...or embarrassed of me...becoz he knows me...he knows me too well...
and for whatever reason, he'll remain as my baby brother...maybe back then, some will say...diri sendiri pun tak terjaga, nak jaga orang lain...well this is what i learnt...sometimes, to learnt on how to take care of yourself, is by taking care others...each person is UNIQUE...you can't expect someone to be averagely like everyone....
dan inilah antara intipati kebenaran yg aku hanya tahu 15 tahun kemudian....Allah maha kaya bukan??
semoga ukhwah ini di jalan yg baik selalu! InsyaAllah...dan bagi yg masih BELOM dapat digest, i sincerely can't help you with that...what i can say is, he's my baby brother that i never have. and that's it...if your brain interprets the other way around, I CAN'T HELP YOU with that....and i'm damn certainly sure, it's not my problem.
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